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從小到大 我就一直是
月半 月半 白勺
有時候想起來 還真是
彳艮 米曹 米羔

雖然他們都說
這種方式交朋友
彳艮 酉告

可是 都年紀一大把了
這樣下去 還真不是
辛力辛 三去

小時候 大人都跟我說
等我國中打籃球 就會瘦了
結果我國中根本沒打籃球
然後 朋友就會拍拍我的肚子說:
"沒關係啦 這樣我們才喜歡你啊!"

國中的時候 老師跟我說
等我上高中 抽高了就會瘦了
結果我高中根本沒什麼抽高
這個時候 朋友又會拍拍我的肚子說:
"沒關係啦 這樣你才會有很多朋友啊!"

高中的時候 只剩學長安慰我說
等我上大學後 跑社團就會瘦了
結果我大學的時候明明狂跑活動
還是一點也沒變 朋友此時又說:
"看來是沒辦法了 就這樣子吧!"

大學時 已經沒有人會騙我了
大家與其睜著眼睛說瞎話
不如 試圖安撫我說 這樣子也很好
還說 多麼羨慕我 可以這麼有福氣
以為我會相信嗎 雖然還是維持下去

就這樣 我的肚子從小被拍到大
無論是身軀 四肢 還是手指腳指
都是 月巴 月巴 矢豆 矢豆 白勺

這教我如何是好
上了研究所 是個成熟的Man了
最近竟然又開始被捉弄起來
大家似乎還很樂此不疲

明明都已經老派地要去當兵了
還是被大家摸來抱去的
有時候 忽然被弄一下
我還真是渾身不自在

雖然也不是什麼大缺點
我也著實因此有些什麼優勢
大家好像也都真的很喜歡我
但 總還是覺得什麼地方怪怪的

唉...反正
看來短期內是擺脫不了這個形象了
不管我怎麼努力 好像都還差一點
就這樣 繼續拖著這個type走下去
總有一天 身邊的人會對我罷手的吧

我希望
我猜...

∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥∥

Fat (by Weird Al Yankovic)

Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or i'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'cause i'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when i fall down
I've got more chins than chinatown

Well, i've never used a phone booth
And i've never seen my toes
When i'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows

Because i'm fat, i'm fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, come on you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout
Just now tell me once again who's fat

When i walk out to get my mail
It measures on the richter scale
Down at the beach i'm a lucky man
I'm the only one who gets a tan
If i have one more pie a la mode
I'm gonna need my own zip code

When you're only having seconds
I'm having twenty-thirds
When i go to get my shoes shined
I gotta take their word

Because i'm fat, i'm fat, sha mone
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds
Lemme tell you once again who's fat

If you see me comin' your way
Better give me plenty space
If i tell you that i'm hungry
Then won't you feed my face

Because i'm fat, i'm fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it, you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Woo woo woo, when i sit around the house
I really sit around the house

You know i'm fat, i'm fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know, you know, you know, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And you know all by myself i'm a crowd
Lemme tell you once again

You know i'm huge, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, you know, hoo
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it, you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And the whole world knows i'm fat and i'm proud
Just tell me once again who's fat

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